I decided to run to Costco ‘real quick’ this afternoon to pick up a couple of things I needed. It’s Sunday, so going to Costco ‘real quick’ is a joke. And not a funny one.
While in Costco I noticed my one year olds lips and hands were pretty blue. She has had some respiratory junk but I wasn’t overly concerned about it until the blue wouldn’t go away.
I called the doctor and after going over everything she said it would probably be best to take her in to urgent care to be safe. So I did just that.
The lady who checked us in also saw the blue so she went and told the doctors in case they wanted to get her back faster, which they did.
Well…. by the time the nurse checked her out the blue was gone and comments were made that I took personally and started feeling silly for even coming in. Then the doctor comes in and says ‘BLUE LIPS AND HANDS?! Why on earth are you here?! You should have taken her to the ER!’ So I’ve now gone from an overreacting, silly mom, to a under-reacting, terrible mom… all in ten minutes time! (In my own head of course.)
And that’s just the thing. No matter what decision you make… you are wrong to someone. You can’t please everyone, you can’t do everything or anything right depending on where you are getting your validation. For a few minutes I felt… silly. And then for a few minutes I felt… like a bad, neglecting mom. Thankfully, I don’t rely on the urgent care nurses and doctors to validate who I am as a mother. Nor do I rely on the random people I run into at the store who look at me funny when they notice my one year old doesn’t have socks on and it’s raining outside. Or when my four-year old is in the craziest outfit, that doesn’t match even sort of. Or when my seven-year old is throwing a fit. I mean really the list goes on and on. But guess what? It’s okay if strangers, or people I know for that matter, think I am a little off in my parenting, or they don’t understand the choices that were made that day. Because guess what? My one year old refuses to keep socks on, and sometimes her shoes. And you know what? My four year old sometimes likes to put her own outfits together, and while a small part of me is cringing on the inside, the other part of me is so proud of her excitement for putting together her own outfit. You know what else? My seven year old still throws fits. It happens sometimes. And I can’t always leave the store to appease everyone else. I have a family and we happen to need food.
Don’t rely on or worry about what you feel others may think of you or your kids or your parenting. Why be affected by someone who doesn’t even know how you got to where you are? Do the best you can. Be the best possible mom or parent or person you can be. Strive every day to do better than the last. We can all improve. Yes. But we can all also take a break from worrying about the judgement of others, or perceived judgment of others.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefor encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.