Change of Plans

Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

That is for skipping through the busy holiday season.

Our New Years was a rough one. My oldest daughter, Charlie, has always been the most challenging one. She is a beautiful, smart, wonderful girl; that is also very stubborn, strong-willed, and can have what feels like the worlds worst melt downs. This has been something that has been a struggle since her father and I split up when she was 1.5 years old, and New years eve was one of those really tough nights.

We were spending the night at my parents and trying to enjoy the night. Our youngest, Sawyer, got her first stomach bug which made things a little challenging. Anyone tried chasing a puking not-even-one year old around? Nearly impossible to contain all the puke that ended up all over my poor parents house. [Sorry mom and dad.]

I honestly don’t even really remember what brought on the huge meltdown Charlie had, but I do remember that it cut her night pretty short. She ended up in bed pretty early, and was spouting off some sad things. Sometimes when she has this big of a meltdown, she ends up yelling out that she doesn’t deserve to be alive, or loved, or part of the family. It is a sad, learned behavior I believe, that we are working on and praying through.

These are the days where my countdown to being a stay at home mom really hit my mind. I feel like, while I need to be focusing on how to help Charlie through these really difficult times right now, it will be so much easier when my full attention is being home with the kids, rather than shared with working a full-time job. After the kids were in bed my husband, mom, and I were sitting downstairs at my mom’s house chatting about the situation. My mom was encouraging us to not waste any time in dealing with this. Charlie is 7 years old and those young impressionable years are slipping by. The words my mom used really stuck with me. She said we need to treat this as an emergency, the house is on fire, what are you going to do?

Well, this is the night my husband realized that we didn’t need to wait until May for me to quit my job. He told me he believed that the right thing to do was not wait any longer, but have my last day be February 9th instead. It was time to really trust God. This took a few days of processing for me, and questioning if he was sure, and more questioning if he was sure. Which he was. It is scary but I, like my husband, believe that God is telling us to do this.

So here I am, after giving my boss a five-week notice. It is official. In five weeks my dream of being home is coming to life. And I am oh so scared and excited.

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Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. 

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