A Day in the Life…

Today… was one of THOSE days. One of those parenting days where like… you cry a lot. Just warning you, I am going to just be raw and honest here. I mean… if you haven’t figured out that I am that way, you will here and now.

The day started pretty good. Everyone woke up pretty happy. It was when we picked the middle child (Rienn) up from school that crap hit the fan.

We were driving home from my daughters pre-school and my almost 8-year-old asked me to plug my phone in and play a specific song from Bethel Kids. I told her I wasn’t plugging my phone in because we were 2 minutes and 12 seconds from the house but I would be happy to turn the radio on. Well, go figure, K-Love just happened to be playing my favorite worship song at that exact moment. What perfect timing! Right?

NO. Wrong. Nothing in this grand world could have angered before mentioned almost eight-year-old more. Oh man. Charlie wanted the music OFF and she wanted it off NOW. Now… if she had said “hey mom, think you cold turn this off so we could talk?” I would have gladly obliged. But that isn’t what happened. Instead, what happened, was I was screamed and yelled at…for turning the radio on. This child asked for a specific song, I compromised by turning the radio on, and I am getting screamed at! She is screaming at the top of her blessed lungs that she hates me!

I just sat there shocked. I couldn’t believe we were experiencing this big of an outburst due to the fact that I played a soft worship song, that wasn’t the exact song she had asked for.

Well I happened to be going somewhere today with our homeschool co-op. My first thought was, nope. Not going. So I messaged a friend of mine to see if she would be able to take my middle child so that she didn’t have to miss out. Being the open person that I am, I explained what was going on with my friend.

At this point in the situation I have already been pretty emotional. Parenting is HARD, you guys. It is just plain HARD. During this conversation with my friend, I had stated that I didn’t know in this moment how to figure out the right consequence. She countered with basically asking if I had figured out the why. Why was this happening, what was it stemming from? And while I have often times gone there in the past, this particular instance I hadn’t initially gone there. I had gone to ‘what do I take away from her?’

As I sat there thinking about the why… WHY would she be so angry over something so small… I lost it. I just started crying. Because guess what? I DON’T KNOW. I have some ideas as to what it could be. But I don’t have a cut and dry answer. Which left me feeling like a terrible mom. Like I just am not cut out for this job. I don’t have the adequate tools and knowledge to parent these kids well. HALT! Those statements… are lies. Because, guess what? Yes, Charlie is my child. But she has just as many emotions as I do, and a different response to every situation. We are not the same person. We have different feelings and different emotions for different situations. There will be times that I don’t know why. But all it took was me reaching out to a friend who simply made a response to what I had said to her, and praying to God to give me answers.

I mean, I don’t have all the answers. I still don’t totally know how to handle this or similar situations. But I do know that when I ask, God gives me peace. And answers.

So this is to you, moms. For all the times you get screamed at by your kids that you love so much. For all the times you do not know what is going on. For all the times you have no idea how to give your child the appropriate consequences. For all the times you don’t know WHY your child is melting down…the root of the reason why. For all the times you feel not adequate, not right, like a terrible mom….. you are not alone. You are not alone in those feelings. But also, you are NOT a terrible mom. Parenting is HARD. Give yourself grace, mama. That’s what I am trying to learn to do.

At the end of the day, regardless of how hard it has been, my girls go to bed and I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love. How was I chosen to mother these beautiful girls? God really thought to give them to ME? That is amazing.. I am so blessed, and so lucky, and so full of love. Regardless of how hard today was, it has ended with me feeling thankful, blessed, and loved.

Isaiah 40:31
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

14 thoughts on “A Day in the Life…”

  1. You are right, parenting is tough! My son had a meltdown today over getting to hold a piece of mail for the 10 seconds it takes to drive from the mailbox to our house. He said no to holding a piece, then wanted the one his brother had, and pitched a fit about it. He got out of the truck and threw his shoes, so I sent him to his room. He slammed the door so I took a quarter from his piggy bank (I tell him it’s to help pay for the door when he eventually breaks it from slamming) and he was in there screaming. He finally calmed down and apologized. It was definitely one of those days here too!

    1. So many people had a rough day! Something must have been in the air. But if nothing else it helps us moms see that we are not alone and our kids are normal. They are just kids, trying to figure life out

  2. Post like this makes me realizes that most of us mothers go through the same thing. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Yes, every mom knows the feeling of this scenario. When my daughter have meltdowns I get her to talk it out. I coach her through the process and stating what she is truly feeling. This works due to her accepting the way that she feels at the moment and understanding why she feels this way. It gives us both some perspective as to what transpired for her to feel and act out that way. Great post

  4. I don’t think parents can ever know the answers. Some days are just meant to be crying frustrating days. It’s how we handle those days and let them happen that’s important.

  5. I think it is really strong of you that even though you had a tough day you ended up happy in the end. This is HUGE! Because there are days where I am just to sit and cry and I let my emotions sometimes get the best of me. So I am working on not letting tough situations bog down my day.

    1. Oh, I do that too!!! Trust me . Definitely something I have to remind myself of and work on. I try to remember even on the worst of days I have so much to be thankful for. But it isn’t always natural.

  6. Days with kids can be tough!! They can’t always express their emotions like we can, but luckily the best things to do is to constantly communicate with them to teach them better!

  7. Parenting is tough and days like this one are a reminder that sometimes we have to be stronger than we know how to be. I hope the week gets better and you have a fabulous Mother’s Day.

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